What I'm Listening to Today

I've decided that every Friday (hopefully!! ha.) I am going to post a "What I'm Listening to Today" entry. I will post a video, or link to a video of a song that I'm either just starting to dig, have dug in the past, or have always dug and think ya'll should dig it too. (With that sentence, my first video should be "Dig" by Incubus huh? Although it's a fantastic song, that will not be the feature this week. Stay tuned...)

Today's song is "Apologize" by Timbaland ft. One Republic

I really really loved this song when it first came out. Then I just sorta...forgot about it. I love the lyrics, the beat, and especially the way Ryan Tedder sings it.

That's what I'm listening to today.



but I do : )

have a better day love.

Breakdown, go ahead and give it to me

So, my apartment found out that Manda and I have Jude. So they, ahem, kindly asked us to vacate : ) Not a huge deal since we were planning on moving in 2 weeks anyway. A little inconvenient with the snow and short notice, but not that big of a deal. I'm basically out and it actually feels really good.

Except that now I'm sleeping alone. And I do not like it at all.

Jude doesn't really appreciate sleeping at my mom's either.

Once Pablo, Manda, and I had moved all my stuff inside last night, I had a bit of a breakdown. Just feeling a bit overwhelmed I guess. But things will be fine.

Christmas presents have finally arrived, so I'm feeling less stressed about that which is nice! Now I just gotta wrap em!

So that's what is happening with me. Moving home and wrapping presents. Not much to blog to the internet about : )


It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

Actually, it's not at all. I'm totally ok with that. I just hope it dosen't meant that we'll have snow until next August. This last year we came close.

Christmas is a weird time for me. When I was little, there was such tradition involved. Go to Papa and Grandma's, open a present on the 24th, go to midnight mass, wake up to what Santa brought, call all the cousins and then make our various rounds. (Thank god everyone still lived in Price!) I loved it. When I moved to Salt Lake with my dad, that tradition was obviously shaken. But then a new one (sorta) picked up. We then went to my Nana and Grandpa Tony's on the 24th, and woke up to Santa's presents the next morning. After I moved out of my dad's house all tradition just stopped. I still go visit my mom sometimes. I have plans to go out to my dad's house at some point during the day on Thursday. But now Christmas is just kind of...blah. The last 3 years sucked. I put myself in a situation that alienated me from my family. By my choice. And that was stupid. Last year, I moved into my new apartment alone on December 22nd and was boycotting Christmas. I spent a little bit of time with my mom and then I went home early and sat by myself listening to the Beatles on the Arrow all day long. And wallowed in self pity. I wasn't sad because of the situation I had just gotten myself out of. That was actually what I was happiest about last year. I was just...sad. I felt very disconnected last year. I guess it was by my choice. This year is not the same. I have a great relationship with both of my parents, my sister, and the majority of my family. I have a girlfriend who is incorperated in my whole life and that makes me so happy. I have a great group of friends who at times feel more like family. I am happy.

But today, I feel sad. I miss tradition. I miss being a little kid. I miss not feeling like an asshole because I'm too broke to buy EVERYONE a present this year. Remember how far a little bit of glitter and construction paper used to go? Hah.



Yesterday was the 9th anniversary of the day my Grandpa Weed died. And I was sad. For the last few weeks I had been remembering that Sunday was the day. Then Saturday night, I got pretty drunk and stayed the night at my girlfriend's parents house. Which caused me to be a little disoriented when I woke up. I wandered into the kitchen and started looking at the Sunday funnies. And saw the date. December 7th. Sad face. I miss my grandpa so much. He was such a great guy and I just wish he was still around. I did 2 things in his memory yesterday. One made me cry, and one made me laugh my face off.

I love you gramps. I wish you were here. And I miss you every single day <3


Post Secret

I've been reading the post secret blog for about a year now. And I find it so facinating. I used to hate the secrets that were dark. They scared me. I only enjoyed the ones that said uplifting things like "I am the happiest I have ever been, ever : )" or "I am in love with who I am becoming". While those secrets are still great to see, the darker ones have now won me over. And I think it's because I realize now what post secret is all about. For so many people, getting those secrets off their chests and onto that website is one of the most liberating experiences of their lives. It doesn't matter that they didn't tell the person they really want to tell. Or maybe seeing it posted will give them courage enough to do just that. I think Frank Warren has done a very beautiful thing and has created a huge outlet for millions of people. Do you have a secret?



This is called husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend tag folks...

I've been tagged...
What's your girlfriend's name? Amanda Michelle Best. I call her Manda.
How long have you guys been together? almost a year!
How long did you date? We dated for a good 6 months before it was official
Who eats more sweets? Dude I am always craving chocolate cake or something random!
Who said "I love you" first? I did
Who is taller? She is
Who is the better singer? I would say her!
Who does the laundry? both of us
Who pays the bills? I pay mine and she pays hers
Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? she does
Who mows the lawn? we don't have a lawn to mow
Who cooks dinner? I do
Who drives? Both of us
Who's the first to admit they are wrong? Oh jeez. I'd say both of us I guess
Who kissed who first? Ya know, it was all a big drunken blur. Haha. But I'm sure I kissed her.
Who asked out who first? I asked her on our first official date.
Who wears the pants? hahaha we both wear pants, duh! JK umm I don't know...

I tag...Manda and Amber