What I'm Listening to Today

I've decided that every Friday (hopefully!! ha.) I am going to post a "What I'm Listening to Today" entry. I will post a video, or link to a video of a song that I'm either just starting to dig, have dug in the past, or have always dug and think ya'll should dig it too. (With that sentence, my first video should be "Dig" by Incubus huh? Although it's a fantastic song, that will not be the feature this week. Stay tuned...)

Today's song is "Apologize" by Timbaland ft. One Republic

I really really loved this song when it first came out. Then I just sorta...forgot about it. I love the lyrics, the beat, and especially the way Ryan Tedder sings it.

That's what I'm listening to today.



but I do : )

have a better day love.

Breakdown, go ahead and give it to me

So, my apartment found out that Manda and I have Jude. So they, ahem, kindly asked us to vacate : ) Not a huge deal since we were planning on moving in 2 weeks anyway. A little inconvenient with the snow and short notice, but not that big of a deal. I'm basically out and it actually feels really good.

Except that now I'm sleeping alone. And I do not like it at all.

Jude doesn't really appreciate sleeping at my mom's either.

Once Pablo, Manda, and I had moved all my stuff inside last night, I had a bit of a breakdown. Just feeling a bit overwhelmed I guess. But things will be fine.

Christmas presents have finally arrived, so I'm feeling less stressed about that which is nice! Now I just gotta wrap em!

So that's what is happening with me. Moving home and wrapping presents. Not much to blog to the internet about : )


It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

Actually, it's not at all. I'm totally ok with that. I just hope it dosen't meant that we'll have snow until next August. This last year we came close.

Christmas is a weird time for me. When I was little, there was such tradition involved. Go to Papa and Grandma's, open a present on the 24th, go to midnight mass, wake up to what Santa brought, call all the cousins and then make our various rounds. (Thank god everyone still lived in Price!) I loved it. When I moved to Salt Lake with my dad, that tradition was obviously shaken. But then a new one (sorta) picked up. We then went to my Nana and Grandpa Tony's on the 24th, and woke up to Santa's presents the next morning. After I moved out of my dad's house all tradition just stopped. I still go visit my mom sometimes. I have plans to go out to my dad's house at some point during the day on Thursday. But now Christmas is just kind of...blah. The last 3 years sucked. I put myself in a situation that alienated me from my family. By my choice. And that was stupid. Last year, I moved into my new apartment alone on December 22nd and was boycotting Christmas. I spent a little bit of time with my mom and then I went home early and sat by myself listening to the Beatles on the Arrow all day long. And wallowed in self pity. I wasn't sad because of the situation I had just gotten myself out of. That was actually what I was happiest about last year. I was just...sad. I felt very disconnected last year. I guess it was by my choice. This year is not the same. I have a great relationship with both of my parents, my sister, and the majority of my family. I have a girlfriend who is incorperated in my whole life and that makes me so happy. I have a great group of friends who at times feel more like family. I am happy.

But today, I feel sad. I miss tradition. I miss being a little kid. I miss not feeling like an asshole because I'm too broke to buy EVERYONE a present this year. Remember how far a little bit of glitter and construction paper used to go? Hah.



Yesterday was the 9th anniversary of the day my Grandpa Weed died. And I was sad. For the last few weeks I had been remembering that Sunday was the day. Then Saturday night, I got pretty drunk and stayed the night at my girlfriend's parents house. Which caused me to be a little disoriented when I woke up. I wandered into the kitchen and started looking at the Sunday funnies. And saw the date. December 7th. Sad face. I miss my grandpa so much. He was such a great guy and I just wish he was still around. I did 2 things in his memory yesterday. One made me cry, and one made me laugh my face off.

I love you gramps. I wish you were here. And I miss you every single day <3


Post Secret

I've been reading the post secret blog for about a year now. And I find it so facinating. I used to hate the secrets that were dark. They scared me. I only enjoyed the ones that said uplifting things like "I am the happiest I have ever been, ever : )" or "I am in love with who I am becoming". While those secrets are still great to see, the darker ones have now won me over. And I think it's because I realize now what post secret is all about. For so many people, getting those secrets off their chests and onto that website is one of the most liberating experiences of their lives. It doesn't matter that they didn't tell the person they really want to tell. Or maybe seeing it posted will give them courage enough to do just that. I think Frank Warren has done a very beautiful thing and has created a huge outlet for millions of people. Do you have a secret?



This is called husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend tag folks...

I've been tagged...
What's your girlfriend's name? Amanda Michelle Best. I call her Manda.
How long have you guys been together? almost a year!
How long did you date? We dated for a good 6 months before it was official
Who eats more sweets? Dude I am always craving chocolate cake or something random!
Who said "I love you" first? I did
Who is taller? She is
Who is the better singer? I would say her!
Who does the laundry? both of us
Who pays the bills? I pay mine and she pays hers
Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? she does
Who mows the lawn? we don't have a lawn to mow
Who cooks dinner? I do
Who drives? Both of us
Who's the first to admit they are wrong? Oh jeez. I'd say both of us I guess
Who kissed who first? Ya know, it was all a big drunken blur. Haha. But I'm sure I kissed her.
Who asked out who first? I asked her on our first official date.
Who wears the pants? hahaha we both wear pants, duh! JK umm I don't know...

I tag...Manda and Amber



It's strange to come back to where I grew up, but sometimes refreshing. I forget how close the mountains are here, it's a comforting feeling that I forget about a lot. Right now I can hear my grandpa giving my grandma a hard time, smell delicious food cooking, and it just feels good to be home.

Now don't get it twisted, I could NEVER live here again. I love the life I live in SLC and everyone in it. Just nice to come back.

Hey girlfriend, I miss your face right off. But by the time you read this, hopefully I will have made up on all this lost time with thousands of kisses. xoxoxxx



How To Play This Game of Tag:
Post these rules on your blog.List: 3 joys, 3 fears, 3 goals, 3 current obsessions/collections, 3 random surprising facts about yourself.
Tag 5 people at the end of your post by leaving their names. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog!

1. My cute little family. I love going home to Manda and Jude every day. Everyone always says "oh you're an old married couple" and blah blah but it's not that way at all! Manda and I have SO much fun together and I love hanging out with my best friend all the time.

2. My friends. Me and my sister have so much fun when we're together, I love hanging out with her. Eventhough Jaymee and I don't hang out much, we still have fun together and we're always texting and emailing. It makes me laugh all the day long. I love all the crazy drunks I hang out with and honestly think they're some of the best people around!

3. Tattoos. I love them. I love the ones I have (although they all need a touch up) and I love planning new ones! I wish I just had the cash dollas to make them happen!

1. Spiders. I do not even appreciate them at all.
2. Failing at life. Sounds dramatic but it's totally real.
3. Disappointing people I love

1. Keep money in my savings! ha
2. Lose weight
3. Minimize my STUFF. I have way too much of it and I need to get rid of a ton!

1. Dooce.com
2. finding cool new music on Pandora
3. The Duggar Family. 18 children is not a blessing from God. That is chaos.

1. I want to learn to play the accordion.
2. I like my job because it's not the kind of customer service that you kiss people's ass. It's the kind of customer service that you tell people to get a grip! ha
3. I could run in high heels. You'd never know it, but I kick ass in high heels.

Okay, I'm tagging these five people:
um I don't know 5 people with a blog. haha. So I tag Manda and Amber.


just one of those things that a girl goes through

I'm having a bad day today. I'm annoyed with everything and just want to go home to my cute girlfriend and my puppy. So I'm looking for stuff to cheer me up. Ok for one:

"your one and only boyfriend, it's nice to have a boyfriend..." hahahaha

ok and also:

yes, this song is about a girl named Kylie. He would like her to sing to him like a shining star. But not before he does her on the backseat of his car. hahaha

Also, the work day is over in 1 hour and 47 minutes. So THAT is something to be positive about.


honorable mention

Tegan Quin. Sorry Sara, but your sister is much hotter : )

Chino Moreno. Yes. Yes and yes.

List of 5

Everyone should have one. If you don't know what it is, see my lovely girlfriend's blog here

Here is mine

Shia LaBeouf

Brandon Boyd

Sarah Shahi

Tina Fey

Rupert Grint

Now I am usually not into redheads, but there is just something about that Ron Weasley... ha! : )


do ya, do ya wanna catch a cold with me?

oh oh I'm sick. I just wanna curl up in bed and drink some tea : (

It's getting cold and I'm starting to sneeze,
I wipe my nose on my sleeve.
I've got the sniffles
I'd better drink my tea.
Oh do you do you wanna wanna catch a cold with me?

I'd catch a cold with you anytime,
I ain't just feverish, I ain't just lyin'
'Cause when your nose is running it's a perfect time for kissing and hugging.
Oh do you do you wanna wanna catch a cold with me?

We'll stay inside where it's nice and warm
Tell our bosses, we're caught in a sneezing storm.
We'll sniffle and snuggle and watch some more tv.
Oh do you do you wanna wanna catch a cold with me?

I'd catch a cold with you anytime,
I ain't just feverish, I ain't just lyin'
'Cause when your nose is running it's a perfect time for kissing and hugging.
Oh do you do you wanna wanna catch a cold with me?

Do you do you wanna wanna wanna wanna do you do you wanna do me yes indeed,
Oh do you do you wanna wanna catch/have a cold with me?


the city lights just burn. Yeah the city lights just burn.

Actually, every light burns my eyes. Burns my brain. I have had a constant headache for 3 days.

Fuck you headache.
And fuck you, me.


This conversation seriously happened in the hallway at work.

Geeky man: Hey buddy! It's dad. How are you?

*silence and a confused/eager look on man's face*

Geeky man: Yeah buddy, I'm sure it's daddy. What are you doing?

ok that is just a hint. Maybe go home a little more a spend time with your kid. haha


we sat on the corner of Memphis and 53rd.

I am treading water. I'm waiting to make things happen. Sounds lazy, huh? Maybe so. But I'm feeling more optimistic than I have in a while. Nothing really has changed. I haven't made the progress I would like to, but I know I will be doing what I need to get done soon.

By the way. When we meet in the bathroom, don't try to shake my hand right when you walk out of the stall. Thank you for your consideration in this matter.


oh those rainy day blues.

They haven't come as quickly this year, but the feelings I get when gloomy weather comes are starting to take their toll.

I'm sad for no reason, but can think of the stupidest reasons to cry. I feel bad because I know it's hard on everyone around me. My mom and my sister, who experience it too, all of my friends, Jaymee...everyone. Now I've got a girlfriend who really cares about me. And it's going to be hard for her too. Super hard. I want to fight it this year. I want to get proactive. I want to get my life organized, so that when I feel sad, a messy house, built up bills and laundry, or any other petty thing won't magnify it by a million. Because I have a lot of reasons to be happy. My life isn't bad. I am just sensitive.

In unrelated news, how gorgeous is this picture?


so I'm a little left of center, I'm a little out of tune...

some say I'm paranormal, so I just bend their spoon. Who wants to be ordinary in a crazy mixed up world? I don't care what they're sayin, as long as I'm your girl.

I am very distractable today. I didn't plan on blogging much, but now that I have this, I feel the need. I guess that's how these things work. I've been getting a lot done at work today, I am just not very motivated. I went through most of the day thinking it was Wednesday and was reminded that it's THURSDAY! Thank mf'n g! ha. Tonight should be productive. Gotta go to the 2nd job for a bit, then to do laundry. Mountains and piles and miles of laundry. I need to get a grip on my wardrobe. Maybe if I didn't have so many clothes, I'd do laundry more because it would be easier to manage. Thank god I have Manda to motivate me to get on that!
Then hopefully we'll celebrate Thirsty Thursday the right way. We've got a huge bottle of Arbor Mist and a huge bottle of Potter's Crown. Sounds like the right way to me.


Yes We Can

And yes we did. I can't even begin to describe how I felt yesterday, holding my girlfriend's hand listening to our new President-Elect give his acceptance speech. I was so overcome with feelings. I cried tears of happiness, tears of hope, and tears of relief. His words were so moving and so full of promise. And I believe he is the man that will fulfill those promises. I kept saying "he makes me want to go plant a tree!" It's true. He makes me want to get involved. And he makes me believe that we can rebuild this country "block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand."


Change 08=Obama 08

I've always been a very political person. Watching Larry King Live and CSPAN has always been much more interesting to me than the OC. When I was too young to vote, I was still involved. Encouraging all my friends and relatives to get out and vote. Because it's our responsibility for how shit turns out in this country. We were founded on the strive for CHANGE. Our principles are based on PROGRESS. Independence. And the drive to be the best. That is why so many people from all walks of life are in America. Because all the tools they need to succeed are here. All the help you need, you can find it here. I feel proud to live in such a diverse community, because that's what we've created.

It's a really amazing feeling to be a part of the election this year. I know that all 5 of Utah's electoral votes will go to McCain. But I don't care. Because I will speak. This is one of the most important elections in history. So many more people have registered to vote this year. People are getting involved. People are caring. And that is very important. I was going to vote early. But then I decided against it. I want to be there. In the middle of history. On the day it is made. Because I believe America is ready for a change. Give us your poor, your tired, your huddled masses longing to be free....and together, we will stand, we will rebuild, right the wrongs that have been done. And be proud to do it. Obama is the leader we need. Leader. Someone that I believe in, someone I trust. So let's do it. Yes we can. Si se puede, yes we can!