There are a few reasons I should quit reading Perez Hilton's blog. Here's one.

The other day I was trying to take a nap and wasn't having much luck. When I finally dozed off, I had this doosy of a dream:

I was driving in a red pick up truck with Nick Lache. We were driving past Miley Cyrus' farm in Tennessee. All of a sudden, I tucked and rolled out of the truck. I was looking for something, but wasn't really sure what. In a crop of wheat I found what I had been looking for! Nick Jonas' blackberry!! HA! I was so excited because this meant I could finally get Taylor Swift's number for an autograph. I started emailing all the hot gossip blogs bragging about stumbling across my treasure. Miley went on the Oprah show begging whoever had it to return it because she really didn't want to have to buy him a new one and she felt responsible. (Because what's $300 bucks to her?!) I started going through the pictures and videos and I found a TON of porn. Like, a ridiculous amount. So I called Perez Hilton and told him I would be emailing all the juicy details.

When I started waking up, still in a haze, I kind of expected to hear it start ringing and answer to Miley begging me to give it back. Haha! Help my life.

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